36 weeks Letter

Dear Baby Ben,

Wow, your time to enter this world is quickly approaching, although I think your dad thinks the time is passing slower and slower. We are both so ready for you to be here but want you to only come out when you are ready. I am 36 weeks along and you are fully developed. Your lungs just still have some more growing up to do before you can come out. So now we just wait for the day to come when you will arrive.

I have LoVeD being pregnant. It is quite a miracle to have a human life growing inside of me. Before we got pregnant with you I there were many things I wondered about regarding how it would feel to be pregnant. My guesses were way off! I never knew how much I would feel you move. The first time your dad and I really felt you kick was when I was 18 weeks and 1 day along. It was pretty magical. From that point on your movements were little flutters or just soft jabs but nothing too powerful. Now and for the past few weeks your movements have been so different. You are running out of room in there and your movements are now more wiggles, turns, slides, rubs, and from time to time really powerful kicks. Your head is and has been in the down position for a while now (good boy!) My bladder is really feeling it since you are getting heavier and heavier. That is a good thing though because we know you are growing into a healthy boy. I also never knew how differently I would be treated during pregnancy. People stare at my belly a lot. People touch my belly a lot....don't worry I haven't let any strangers touch my belly! Everyone just loves you so much already that all they talk to me about is you!

I absolutely love to feel you move. I can feel you a lot and now I can tell where your tushie is, your back, and your feet. You were playing with your dad the other night while we were in bed. As soon as I laid down you stuck your foot straight up - I thought it might just push it's way right out of my belly button - your dad kept rubbing your feet and you would move and kick him back. The smile on his face was priceless. He can't wait to have you here to play with. I have slowed down on my drinking of Sprites and Sierra Mists. I feel bad because every time I drink one you get the hiccups. That is another thing I underestimated before being pregnant. I had always heard you could feel your baby having the hiccups inside of you but never knew how distinct they would be. My whole belly jumps now when you have them which is at least once a day now!

My body is busy preparing for your arrival. I am having fake "practice" contractions that help me get ready for you. Soon your dad and I will be playing the guessing game to decide if they are real or fake contractions. These next 4 weeks will be interesting! We both think you are going to be early but you come whenever you are ready - no pressure!

Ben, I will certainly miss being pregnant with you. Every day I go into your room and fidget around with more stuff just to keep busy. I guess they call it "nesting." I will miss your movements inside of me and I will miss your dad putting his hand on my belly to feel you and the smile you put on his face when he does get to play with you. I will miss putting my hands on my belly all the time to feel your butt or to feel your feet. Usually they move at the same time so I put both hands there to enjoy the life inside of me. I will miss Lucy and Mickey putting their heads on my belly and Lucy looking at me with a funny look when she feels you move. They definitely know something is going on with me and will absolutely love you when they find out a new baby is coming home! Even thought it drives me nuts sometimes, I will miss the way people talk to my belly - especially your Grandma Marcia...she uses her high pitched voice when she talks to you and all I can picture is you covering your ears in there! I will miss alone time with your dad but look forward to having someone else to share our life with.

Even though there are many things I will miss, having you here will greatly outweigh all of those. We are SO eXcItEd! Your dad and I have tried for a very long time to grow our family. It started out as the two of us, then came Lucy to make three, then came Mickey to make four and it stayed that way for a long time. The time waiting to grow our family has caused us much heartache but it all makes sense now. this whole time we weren't able to get pregnant it was because we were waiting for you. It was always meant to be you and I wished I would have trusted that more. A quote I have heard is that "Faith in God means trust in his timing." I feel that more than ever now. It was never about having a child. It was always about having you. You are worth the wait, my dear. We love you so much already and everyone around us loves you too. So your dad and I will continue to wait for your arrival...you can feel free to come anytime after next Wednesday because you will be full term by then and it will be safe for you to enter the world. Boy, we can't wait to meet you. Even though we feel like we already know you, meeting you in person is just going to be quite a moment. I love the way you make your dad light up when he feels you now and I love the way I feel when you move - but I can't wait to see the looks on your dad's face when he gets to see you in person and I can't wait to feel your movements and hear your cries after you have arrived. I think our hearts may just melt right there in the delivery room.

Keep growing strong. We'll see you soon.
Love,
Mom